A Arte de Se Exprimir
segunda-feira, 10 de outubro de 2022
Reaprender
domingo, 25 de setembro de 2022
Memórias
segunda-feira, 31 de janeiro de 2022
So Contempt
No matter what you do. Some actions in your life will be reason for someone don't like you. That actions can come from close friends, family, lovers, girlfriends or boyfriends. I consider that the fault is on your personality. That one sometimes simple can not be mixed with the personality of other persons. It's complicated, because we live in a world of billions of people. Each one is a subjective person and have their values, principles, faith, culture and other things.
Everything starts in a fault of knowledge, but with time you start knowing that person.With that opinions start to be build and what can be fruitful is good. What is a reason for you not like in the other person can be the contrary.
This is the way of building relationships. You meet a person, and only with time you will know what kind of person he/she is. But is unfair, because if someone gives to the trouble to meet you and let you know that you meet him is only a balance.
No one is perfect. Everyone have a badge, a past. A period in life that they for sure committed a lot of mistakes and they will learn with them or they simple discovery that they have problems that never, ever, can be solved.
That persons live in a difficult way. Because or the society don't understand them or in terms more personal they always have difficulties to express with other persons what they simple don't understand in them.
In the end what I am trying to write/say it's that you can have a relationship very deep with someone. But if in the end the same don't result, the conclusion can be a antipathy so big that the person simple become a stranger. Like someone you never meet...
You can still have feelings for them, but if the person feels that you hurt here, you became a stranger. Lost in translation. You seek a solution for the mistake that you have done. You want that everything have a solution. That the person don't be another one, because the impression that you have is not simple a bound that it was intimate. It was more, much more.
In the time that you spend with that person you found out that the connection it was not only in feelings, but also a admiration about that person, The way that she have live, the way that she thinks, the way that she show herself to world. The way that persons like them. In the end the motor that she is/was in yourself.
Anyway, what is the conclusion of this text is that when you have a more intimacy relationship with someone. If the same don't result. I don't understand why people behave in way of ignoring what they pass together. Because we live in a world and in a moment that the knowledge shows that in a world of billions of people, few are the ones that you really like and like us.
However, words and habits maybe can not change. We don't have need to have contempt in this time. Time is so precious, that is the only care about the ones that really love us.
quarta-feira, 22 de dezembro de 2021
Silence
Your silence doesn't matter. Your silence is comforting. Your silence is a reason. Your silence is... Silence is all that I have now. No sound, no arguments, no speech, no voice, no noise. Is almost that I am in other universe, in a different dimension. Your silence is a reason for everything.
I think and only hear some sounds in my memoir, but that is not enough. The silence is beautiful and at the same time a way of reflecting. I don't care about the silence, because in my memoir I will always have the memoir of your voice. In a different language that I was familiar, but time have proven that different language is not a frontier that cannot be broken. By the contrary, maybe can be a reason to approximate more.
The silence is not only produce in the natural way. In terms of technology the silence is stronger. We have more ways to be silenced, ghosted. Although, silence can be remedy. Silence can be like fire that burn so much inside and produces a change that we never saw, but it is necessary.
That doesn't mean that life will be what it was. In a better way, life will be different. More consistent, more capable of showing why is important, the life. We only have one...
Your silence is painful, but also is a reason for me to be aware that change it was, it is, needed. That change don't mean a return for what I have lost. By the contrary, means something new that I really want to achieve.
I just want to show you that silence is not the key, the memoirs contain the sound of your voice. For most that we fight that never can be deleted.
No matter what, one day I will hear your voice personally again and I will be a different man and you a different woman. No matter the time of silence, with time change is inevitable.
domingo, 14 de novembro de 2021
That Night
It's not good after all this time remember that night. Is only going to make that the acceptance and consequences are more difficult to accept. At the same time reflecting is a exercise that I need to do, no matter what kind of bad feeling I can feel.
All it was very strange, irrational and understandable. My acts were from other person that It was no thinking properly and lost control. I was under the effect of something, not drugs, but any new adaptation that I was madding to a process that started months before.
domingo, 10 de outubro de 2021
What is Love?
Some words cannot express the feelings that we have inside us. Actually, I would say that the words will never be enough to express the feelings that the human body feels. This, what we call emotions, is something to much complex to express in words. Is something that happens in the brain and that one is the human organ that mankind less know about. Is the organ where everything happens. Is the organ that give us the feeling that we are alive. Is the organ where we feel love, hate, pain, joy, insecurity and much more feelings.
But today I want to talk about love. The powerful feeling that give us the strength to feel life with more excitement and is a reason for us to change completely the way that we are. Is a feeling more difficult to understand and explain then the brain, because is not physical but is something that we all feel inside us. Never no one saw, but everyone felt.
We feel different kind of love. The love that we feel for our family is not the same that we feel for our friends or people that we simple know. Then exist the love that we can consider special, unique and transformative. The love that we feel exclusively for a person that is also unique in the way that make our body react when we are near to that person.
Because I am heterosexual I will talk about the woman's and the type of love that they make me feel. But with all the respect for the community LGBT, I do not consider in any way that the feeling is different. After all, we are made from the same material.
Love is a transformation. Starts to be a feeling that originate in the brain and express himself for the rest of the body in a chemistry of emotions. The scholars would explain the love in the perspective of evolution. The romantics will understand in the idea of how the emotions can be express, for example, in words forgetting the the scientific theory.
Although, each one of us have a different definition of what is love. Because we are going to explain what we think what is love based in our experience. In other words, what for some of us love can be a big reason of happiness for others can be a reason of suffering. The greatness about love is that the same can happen in a infinite number of times. Because love is infinite, or is finite? Is that what I am trying to understand!
I still remember the first time that I thought that I felt love inside me. At first it was scary. It was something that I never felt before and because of that scared me. I didn't know what to do, how to react or not act. I simple understand that when I was near of that woman my body started to feel different: nervous, not knowing what to do, or what to say and some times I felt shame. However, at the same time I had a strong need to catch the attention of that woman. I wanted to be near her. Talk with her. Touch her. Smell her. Kiss her. Hug her. I don't know! Do everything with her! Since I started feeling that way my world completely changed and I didn't care about nothing else.
With time and accordingly I was getting older, I learn that love is a complement for life and not everything. Because if love is everything, what starts to be a beautiful fairy tail, can become a nightmare.
I don't want to say that love is a nightmare, by the contrary. Is the best thing that can happen to someone. But love have another side and the way that each one of us deal with that side is the reason because I spoke in nightmare. In my life I just felt, what I consider the real love two times. To be real and honest, right now I can say that it was only one time. I say this because the feelings where so different and because of a new love I changed my idea.
In the first time, it was a long relationship with a lot of ups and downs. But it was working, during that certain point that you assume a compromise. You make plans. Most important you cannot imagine your world without that person that you consider at the time, I consider my your soul matte.
However, didn't work. Like everything that have a beginning also had a end. My problem was how I deal with that. It was not the best way. I started knowing a new self that lost control, enter in despair and have done a lot of crazy things. I mean a lot of crazy things that I don't want to remember...
It was hard. I needed years to heal myself from that experience and to find myself again. It was so hard that the time that I needed to recover it was lost time in life that I never will recover again. It was a time that started for me to be a reason to not believing in love anymore and I thought that I was never fall in love again.
But I was wrong, and after a decade I found love again. In a different way, in a different country, in a different citie. But I found it. Unconsciously it happen so fast and it was so deep that at some moments I was not believing that it deserved to feel like that again.
The way that happen it was in a modern way. But what it was more interesting is that after two hours I met this woman I already felt that she was my soul matte. Because of the way she speak, the way that she think, the way that she talk, the way she smell, the way she move, the way she look at me, because of the eyes, the way she was clever, the way that she fight for life, her independence, her experience, her kindness, her determination, her creativeness, her education, her big heart, her dedication and especially her sincerity. In other words I just and simple felt that I found what was true love.
Nonetheless, after some time I discover that problems that I thought that I solve in myself many years ago where still present, and worst, I never accept my biggest challenge and problem: I am sick. I am not a normal person because my brain don't work in the way that persons are normally use to see in one person. Because of that I need to be more aware of things and avoid certain things.
In the end it was not a matter of time, of behavior or whatever. The problem, once again it was me. It was myself not assuming that I needed to be careful and not be have shame of my sickness. I should embraced her and live with her without shame. It is the only way for me to be complete and happy. Unfortunately, I did some of the same mistakes when the relationship end, but it was not so crazy like the last time. I learn that fortunately I grownup and I became more mature and because I really love that person I didn't wanted to harm her. Although, my stupidity make me do wrong acts that maybe only cause that she change the idea of me and keep her away from me. The truth is that I will never love again like this in my life. I just simple know it. Yeah I know you can say whatever you want, but my feeling are only mine and because of that just me understand me.
In conclusion, love is not easy. It can be a path of two directions.One of them id happiness that never ends, the other a period where we loose all the conscience of life and we act very wrong. But in the end love is experience and learning. With which new experience of love we learn always something new. but with my experience I can say that I will never love the same way again. My love it was a melody that I broke and right now I don't know if I can fix it. However I just say to the people that read this post, don't be afraid of love, because love is everything and in the end, after the period of grief, you will always became a better person. But that don't mean that you stop love the person in cause.
segunda-feira, 4 de outubro de 2021
O Regresso
sexta-feira, 18 de outubro de 2019
A Mancha Humana
Mancha Humana (2000) integra o grupo do qual fazem ainda parte as obras Pastoral Americana (1997) e Casei Com um Comunista (1998).
Neste livro Roth já escreve de forma mais suave, apresenta as personagens com claridade. Faz avanços e recuos no tempo, mas está sempre seguro de si, sem estragar a leitura.
Na analogia que faço a Everyman (2006) encontro uma profundidade que não tem no primeiro livro que li do autor.
Roth não tem medo de escrever. Ele debita palavras que é uma coisa maluca. De tal forma que é uma imersão na leitura e viajamos de um lado para o outro e nos, espaços, vamos conhecendo as personagens e as suas particularidades a serem desenvolvidas pela escrita de Roth.
Philip Roth |
O autor em causa assume-se como um dos mais importantes do fim do século XX. E consegue em Mancha Humana fazer com que cada um de nós pense sobre si mesmo e no papel que tem no mundo. De alguma forma também fala de problemas estruturais a cada sociedade e aos órgãos que a compõem.
A forma é uma pura tragédia carregada de ligação com cada um de nós. No momento das interacções a forma do texto assume-se mais na emoções em que abordamos os outros, como falamos, como olhamos, etc.
No fundo neste livro Roth dá-nos uma lição de vida. Porque é preciso, parar, ponderar e depois avançar. Não podemos pensar que a vida é apenas tempo que passa. Não, ela é feita de ações, opções e consequência dessas mesmo.
E por falar em emoção encontro emoções aquando da leitura de Barrabas (1950) que o autor tem uma forma literária grotesca de construir toda uma narrativa baseada num acontecimento, que não é mais que uma passagem de um livro.
terça-feira, 16 de abril de 2019
Memorials Notre Dame
As pessoas olham para mim como se eu fosse um estranho.
Na verdade eu olho para eles e penso que eles são estranhos.
Sou que os vejo e relato o que sou.
Falam eles das viagens que tiveram.
Os vícios que se habituaram e o cérebro com isso vai convivendo.
Do que vão fazer agora, que estão estáveis naquilo que é mais difícil de conseguir.
Ainda falei sobre Notre Dame e choro o fogo como todos.
As redes sociais estão infestadas com memorials
Cheguei a casa e aqueci o arroz.
Abri uma lata de atum, parti o pão e comi.
De tarde tenho médico.
Vou falar sobre o problema nos ouvidos.
O otorrino vai dizer que é de fumar.
Mas eu vou responder que nem sempre tive este problema.
Um tratamento provavelmente vou começar.
Como a conversa que tive esta manhã.
domingo, 7 de abril de 2019
Começar
Sou eu neste percurso de autenticidade,
Como sou perturbado pela inquietação.
A sensação de algo feito e desfeito.
Novos desafios entre o que é dito como fácil,
Mas difícil de fazer.
Não é só começar,
É necessário fazer e continuar.
Conhecer, deslumbrar e conquistar.
No meio de indivíduos não somos únicos.
Temos que ser os melhores.
Temos que integrar o que nos aparece.
A verdade de uma coisa nova não está no seu início,
mas sim no seu desenvolvimento.
Não sou mais que um caminho que tem vários obstáculos e tenta transpor a todos.
Somos todos nós que passamos por isso,
Não por não por opção mas sim por obrigação.
terça-feira, 2 de abril de 2019
A Arte Subtil De Saber Dizer Que se Foda
Mas na verdade é uma boa leitura. É um livro fresco com uma narrativa que foge a uma linha mais tradicional de literatura. O seu conteúdo é actual e emerge o leitor de forma eficaz e sem papas na língua.
Somos incentivados a pensar fora da caixa na forma como vemos o mundo e interagimos com todos os desafios que nos são propostos.
As teorias apresentadas pelo autor são desafiantes e talvez até utópicas na forma como podemos existir. Mas o ponto crucial é que a leitura e a forma como lidar com vários desafios, problemas, pessoas e outras situações da vida, faz-nos sentir mais vivos.
Por isso recomendo a sua leitura. Alertando que cada pessoa vai ter uma visão particular pela mesma. Porque o livro é para todos, mas atinge individualmente pela sua forma de escrita que está fora dos padrões normais de literatura.
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